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In Navel-Gaze or Thumb-Suck?

April 09, 2005

ABB to English Dictionary

Despite our impressive growth during the last year, the independent Reverse Vote Swapping current within the progressive movement remains the minority position. Therefore, many of our loyal ReverseVoteSwappers must communicate with Anybody But Bush-style hopeless idealists. This can be a difficult and frustrating enterprise, but is sometimes necessary nevertheless. Unfortunately, ABB liberals cannot help but cloud their naivete with fuzzy, largely incomprehensible language. Alternately, ABB liberals use words like "pragmatic" to mean their literal opposite, confusing things further.

In order to better facilitate the ability of serious pragmatists to engage in debate with Kerrycrats, ReverseVoteSwap.org is happy to announce the launch of our ABB to English Dictionary project. We hope you find this initial batch of translations useful. We would also be pleased to post additional translations upon request, should you stumble across some new, incomprehensible ABB-ism overlooked by our dictionary.

ABB to English Dictionary

organ for unlimited transmission of ca$h money from the economic bourgeoisie to the political bourgeoisie; well-suited to individual rich twits with exotic agendas (eg, destroying Ralph Nader) that do not motivate cohesive fractions of the ruling class
voting for a Democrat and shutting the fuck up
constituencies that voted for Democrats 30-40 years ago
organization which, although strictly following the Democratic Party line, is named something other than "Democratic Party"
subsidiary political actions attached to an ordinary electoral campaign, but legally structured to circumvent financing laws
any group of people that might vote for Democrats on any basis; though meaningless given political equivalence of two major parties, the fundamental category of liberal sociological theory
cultural issue
material issue that Democrats wish to avoid
obligatory political accessory, like American flag lapel pin
institution involving a certain nonzero percentage of non-millionaires
utter insignificance
international cooperation
utilization of modern public relations techniques to obscure American unilateralism
organ for unlimited transmission of ca$h money from the organized proletariat to the political bourgeoisie
see 527
NASCAR dad (var: person of NASCAR, people of NASCAR)
primitive humanoid organism that, to liberals, comprises vast majority of Americans
right-wing policy smeared with a small coat of left-wing gloss
a state in which the opressed are relatively quiet about their oppression
political education
explaining to serious progressives the need to 1) vote for Democrats with whom they disagree on all political points and 2) shut the fuck up
the art of the currently-existing
complete capitulation without any demands, eg: entering the Kerry camp without winning even a single progressive plank in his campaign; also: any strategy that defies elementary logic, eg: voting for reactionary Democrats to encourage them to move left
ceremonial declaration; non-binding rhetoric that does not serve as a guide to action
a condition in which the majority of reactionary measures are undertaken by Democrats rather than by Republicans
the state of being not quite as reactionary as a thing could possibly be under different circumstances
progressive infrastructure
a new channel through which people can donate ca$h money to triangulating Democrats, generally made possible through the careful use of new letterhead
progressive movement
the act of telling serious progressives to 1) vote for pro-war Democrats and 2) shut the fuck up
real world
bizarro world of liberal fantasies
condition of having a Democrat restrict civil rights
security mom
terrorism-obsessed mother whose previous soccer-related concerns now seem trite and naive
soccer mom
soccer-obsessed mother who has not yet comprehended the awesome threat of terrorism
voting for Democrats in spite of major disagreement
any series of tactics, possibly with no mutual interconnection, provided the final action is voting for Democrats
stark differences
alternate phrasings
satisfaction of goals set in retrospect of failure of original goals
center-right policy presented as far-right moral imperative, eg: "John Kerry stands for allowing straight married couples to deduct a portion of their out-of-pocket medical expenses, which encourages marriage and procreation. Now that's real family values!"
attainment of what one has attained, including nothing and less than nothing
ability to raise issues under conditions where it cannot possibly have any effect
wedge issue
issue where difference between beliefs of liberals and the position of the Democratic Party is unusually vast

Posted by convener at April 9, 2005 12:45 AM