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In Take That, Osama!

April 26, 2005

War on Terror Justifications Tripled in 2004

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Bush administration officials are delighted that world War on Terror justifications more than tripled in 2004, to 650 from a mere 175 in 2003. Thanks to the tireless and combined efforts of America's intelligence, diplomatic, and blowing-shit-up communities, the War on Terror is more excusable than ever.

A senior State Department official noted, "We launched this whole 'War on Terror' thing basically in response to some crazies getting pretty lucky once and killing a few thousand people. It looked kind of uncouth, you know? I mean, we probably smoosh that many people in six months of aid drops.

"But thanks to all this new terrorism sprouting up, the war seems more necessary than ever! Our data suggests that, if terrorist incidents continue to increase at this rate, in about ten years even ordinary people would begin to regard terrorism as a real issue, and not a boogeyman made up by the military-industrial complex."

Take that, Osama!

Posted by convener at April 26, 2005 11:00 PM